A Guide for All Brides: How to Ask Someone to Be Your Bridesmaid
Wondering how to ask someone to be your bridesmaid? First of all, a huge congratulations! You’re engaged! And that means you’re in love and we couldn’t be happier for you.
Finding the one you’ll spend the rest of your life with is made all the more special by celebrating with those who’ve supported you through the good and the bad: your best friends and family (aka your future bridesmaids and maid of honor).
Since you don’t get married every day, make it a memorable moment by thinking through all the steps you need to know.
Keep reading to learn how to ask someone to be your bridesmaid, including:
Let’s dive in!
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Who should you ask to be your bridesmaids?
The very first step in how to ask someone to be your bridesmaid is figuring out who to ask to be your bridesmaids. Here are a couple of things you’ll want to consider:
Who do you want to accompany you to your dress appointments?
Who do you want to celebrate with at your bachelorette party?
Who do you want to be getting ready with the morning of your big day?
And most of all, who do you want to stand next to you at the wedding?
Since many people consider it an honor to be asked, it’s also a way to show your appreciation for your favorite ladies’ friendship and support all these years.
Which leads us to our next question…
Is being a bridesmaid a reciprocal thing? (Do you have to ask someone to be your bridesmaid if you were a bridesmaid for them?)
While we wish we had a straight answer for you, this is really a matter of personal choice. Some brides wouldn’t dream of not asking all the friends who’d asked them. Some don’t feel compelled to at all. Do what feels right to you! Remember: This is your big day, and if a friend truly cares about you, they’ll understand your decision.
Ideas for who to ask to be your bridesmaid
Here are some ideas for who to ask and some of the pros and cons of each.
Family
Pros: Since we’re kind of stuck with our families, it’s a lot harder to get rid of your family than it is a friend. You’ll probably still be in touch with everyone in your wedding photos, even many years later. You can ask your sister, your future sister-in-law, your cousins or other family members who are important to you.
Another benefit of asking family members is that you won’t hurt friends’ feelings who are sad to not be a part of the bridal party. You can always explain that you’re asking family only.
Cons: For many of us, our family members aren’t the only important people in our life. Not inviting friends might leave you feeling like your party’s incomplete.
Close friends
You can ask the women whom you’re closest to right now. Or you can ask a close friend from each stage of your life.
Pros: Your girlfriends are often the first people you call when you fight with your fiance or when you have good news to share. They’ve seen you through thick and thin, so who better to stand with you when you finally tie the knot? Also, you won’t hurt family members’ feelings who are sad to not be a part of the bridal party by letting them know you’re only asking friends.
Cons: Some brides find that they don’t keep in touch with some of their bridesmaid friends after a while. If you decide to ask friends, you’ll have to be ok with not always talking to or being close to all of your bridesmaids for the rest of your life.
Mix of family and friends
Want the best of both worlds? Ask both friends and family.
Pros: This is a popular option for lots of brides. It makes sense since both our friends and family play such a big role in our lives.
Cons: If a friend is hurt because she wasn’t asked, you can’t blame it on the fact that you’re asking family members only. Or vice versa if a family member is upset.
How many bridesmaids should I have?
Let’s also talk about the number of bridesmaids you want to have. How many is too many? Luckily, there are no hard and fast rules here (or really, with any part of your wedding!). My sister didn’t have any bridesmaids, and it was one of the most beautiful weddings I’ve ever attended. But if you do want to have a bridal party, it’s up to you how many people you have (from one person to lots!).
And your number of bridesmaids doesn’t have to match the number of groomsmen either. If there are more bridesmaids than groomsmen, you can have a groomsmen walk down the aisle with two bridesmaids (and vice versa).
When to ask someone to be your bridesmaid
A good rule for when to ask someone to be your bridesmaid is to ask 8 months to a year in advance of your wedding date. This gives them enough time to get their bridesmaid dress, help plan your bachelorette party and, for destination weddings, save up! However, if your wedding timeline is shorter, just give as much notice as possible. :)
How to ask someone to be a bridesmaid wording
Here’s wording for how to ask someone to be a bridesmaid. Just replace the text in brackets.
Funny
Example
Hey Denise,
Just in case James is a no-show, don’t leave me standing at the altar by myself. Will you be my bridesmaid/maid of honor?
Love,
Sobrina
P.s. I promise I won’t make you wear an ugly dress.
Funny Will You Be My Bridesmaid Template
Hey [Your friend’s name],
Just in case [your partner’s name] is a no-show, don’t leave me standing at the altar by myself. Will you be my bridesmaid/maid of honor?
Love,
[Your name]
P.s. I promise I won’t make you wear an ugly dress.
Heartfelt
Example
Dear Lauren,
From the time we traveled across the world to learn all about skincare in Korea to all the days we spent eating lunch and gossiping about work, we’ve gone through thick and thin together. I can’t imagine saying I do without you by my side. Will you be my bridesmaid/maid of honor?
Love,
Sobrina
Heartfelt Will You Be My Bridesmaid Template
Dear [your friend’s name],
From the time we [insert a favorite memory] to all the days we spent [insert a second favorite memory], we’ve gone through thick and thin together. I can’t imagine saying I do without you by my side. Will you be my bridesmaid/maid of honor?
Love,
[Your name]
Quirky
Example
Jen,
The first time we met, you were rushing out to have lunch with half of the office. And I was busy trying not to get fired in my first week on the job. It wasn’t until you invited me (and just me!) to the movies that I realized you were actually a Super Introvert and that we would be friends forever. Go introverts!
It wouldn’t feel quite right to get married without the person I once thought was friends with the entire city of San Francisco by my side, so will you please be my bridesmaid/maid of honor?
Love,
Yvonne
Quirky Will You Be My Bridesmaid Template
[Your friend’s name],
The first time we met, you were [insert a funny thing your friend was doing]. And I was busy [insert a funny thing you were busy with]. It wasn’t until [insert the first time you knew you were going to be friends] that I realized [what you realized made you compatible with your friend] and that we would be friends forever. Go [insert what brought you together]!
It wouldn’t feel quite right to get married without the person I once thought [insert a silly first impression you had of your friend] by my side, so will you please be my bridesmaid/maid of honor?
Love,
[Your name]
Whatever wording you choose, share your message in a handwritten note inside our will you be my bridesmaid cards 👇🏽
Need bridesmaid cards?
Ideas on how to ask someone to be your bridesmaid
We’ve gathered up the best ideas on how to ask someone to be your bridesmaid, including ideas based on your personality type.
6 unique way to ask someone to be your bridesmaid
For creative brides
A balloon in a box. There’s a note attached to the balloon that says “pop me” to reveal a shower of confetti and a secret message inside. The secret message is written on a rolled up piece of paper with the question “will you be my bridesmaid?”
Will you be my bridesmaid idea via Quiet Like Horses
Gift box filled with crinkle paper and a couple treats for your friends
A cake with the question written in frosting on top (because who doesn’t love a beautiful layer cake?!)
A bouquet of balloons or flowers with a note that asks the question
Make a photobook (we love Chatbooks) of all your favorite pictures together and then insert text to pop the question on the last page
Make a crossword for them to fill out. Check out free sites like Crossword Hobbyist. You can borrow ours for inspiration.
How to ask someone to be your bridesmaid via text
For less sentimental brides who just want to get straight to the point (and to all the fun), you can pull wording from one of our longer messages above or send something more direct like:
After everything we’ve gone through together, I would love to have you by my side when I say I do. Will you be my bridesmaid?
You send it with your favorite gif or using invisible ink if you have an iPhone.
For brides whose bridesmaid proposals require a bit more planning
Here’s how to ask bridesmaids long distance: You can do any of the ideas above, you’ll just need to send any packages via snail mail or work with a local bakery, florist or party store in your friend’s area if you want to deliver a cake, flowers or balloons. If you’re sending a package via snail mail, don’t forget the card!
What do you get your bridesmaids as gifts
If you really want your bridesmaids to feel special, make sure your bridesmaid proposal includes a couple of small, thoughtful gifts. Here are our favorites.
What to get your bridesmaids as gifts:
Face masks
Fenty gloss bomb in fenty glow (a lip gloss that’s not too sticky, tastes like Skittles and comes in a universally flattering color)
Silk eye mask or silk scrunchie
A bottle of Usual Wines
A cute mug (we love these by Lolly Lolly Ceramics)
Tea Drops (organic tea pressed into fun shapes that dissolve in hot water)
Let’s get this (bridal) party started
Now that you know all the differents ways for how to ask someone to be your bridesmaid, all you have to do now is figure out who to ask to be your bridesmaids, decide when to ask someone to be your bridesmaid, pick the right wording for how to ask someone to be a bridesmaid and then use one of our unique ways to ask someone to be your bridesmaid.
Shop “Will You Be My Bridesmaid Cards”
Set includes 7 gold foil bridesmaid cards, 1 maid of honor card & 8 matching envelopes.